I have a confession. I am not a baby person.
I never have been. Besides some little cousins, with pillows under my arm, Madeline was the first baby I ever held. Hers were the first diapers I ever changed.
Since then, I have held a few more baby’s, and changed more than a few more diapers, but the truth is, unless I gave birth to the baby, I have close to no desire to hold it. And I definitely don’t want to change it’s diaper.
I just don’t really get them. They are miracles, yes, and that is wonderful, but the joy I have for being out of that stage is almost embarrasing.
That being said, give me all of the toddlers. Yes, they talk back. Yes, they throw temper tantrums, and sometimes make me want to pull my hair out, but I will take this all day long over all day feedings, every three hour wake ups, spit up down my shirt, and blow outs.
I can officially say that we have entered a new season, and I am loving every second of it. Blake is no longer a baby. He communicates with us (even though he only knows a handful of words), he understands when we ask him to do things (even though he doesn’t always do them), he eats with utensils (or flings food across the room with them), when I reach my hand down, he holds it.
Sometimes I will be walking behind him, watching his little head bounce around as he runs, and I can’t help smiling and thinking to myself “this is my life”. I have two toddlers, and I love it.
I can’t guarantee that I will be welcoming every new season with open arms, that as they get older and need me less it won’t make me long for their little hands in mine, but for now I am just soaking it all in.
I am embracing the tantrums, because it means I have strong willed children who know what they want.
I am embracing the fighting, because in two seconds they will be giggling about something else.
I am embracing the mess, because my healthy, happy children made it.
I am embracing it all, even in the midst of it, even when I have to just shake my head and walk away, even when there is spaghetti sauce splattered on my dining room wall, because this is my life, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.